Mental Health Matters: The Dark Side of Unhealthy Attachments

Attachment plays a significant role in human connection. The early relationships with your parents and other family members can influence and mold the attachments you make to friends and romantic partners in the future.

A person can trigger strong emotional responses in you even if he or she does not attract you romantically or sexually. Your sense of connection and bonding is enhanced just by being near someone.

When you are in their company, you may feel happy, safe, at ease, and even euphoric. However, some level of attachment is healthy and pretty normal in relationships. But how can you know if you’re too attached? What should you do in that case? How can Attachment is Injurious for Mental Health? Keep on reading this blog to find answers to these questions. 

What is Attachment Theory?

The foundation of attachment theory is the belief that people are inherently driven to develop close emotional bonds with other people. This need stems from our evolutionary past because early humans needed to form attachments with their carers in order to survive. These early attachment experiences, following attachment theory, influence our capacity to establish relationships later in life.

How is attachment theory related to mental health?

Research has shown that early attachment experiences can have a big impact on how people’s mental health turns out later in life. Positive self-esteem, emotional control abilities, and general mental health are more likely to develop in children who have secure attachments with their carers. Conversely, children who encounter insecure attachments—such as abuse or neglect—may be at a higher risk of developing mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.

Love vs. Emotional Attachment

Although love and emotional attachment are similar, they are not the same. Many experts have pointed out that emotional attachment is selfish and love is selfless. This is the main distinction. Being selfish does not always mean being bad; rather, it simply means that you are in a relationship to fulfill your basic needs. Love is the result of wanting to put another person’s well-being ahead of one’s own needs.

A relationship that is solely based on emotional attachment may feel unstable, fearful, or stagnant, which can quickly turn toxic or destructive. This occurs as a result of your dependence on them. This permits you to engage in behaviors or treatments that might be detrimental to your personal development.

What are the different types of emotional attachment?

Emotional attachment can take many forms, some of which are more beneficial than others. Every kind of attachment has a unique function and potential consequences.

Secure Attachment

One of the most prevalent forms of emotional attachment is secure attachment. It emerges when you are at ease with someone and have faith in their capacity to fulfill your needs. You have a close relationship and can rely on one another both emotionally and physically.

Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment, a kind of insecure attachment, arises from a persistent fear that your partner might abandon you or fail to show up for you in times of need. Needy and clinging behavior may result from this.

Avoidant Attachment

Another variation of insecure attachment is avoidant attachment. It appears when you can’t or won’t get close to someone. You may cut off physical or emotional contact with your partner. Feelings of loneliness and rejection may result from this.

Disorganized Attachment

A third, less frequent subtype of insecure attachment is disorganized attachment. It is typified by conflicting feelings of avoidance and approach towards your partner. Relationship anxiety, fear, and confusion may result from this.

How Does Attachment is Injurious for Mental Health?

Since we are social creatures, forming relationships is one of the most significant aspects of our lives. According to attachment theory, our early relationships with our primary carers have a lasting impact on our capacity for social interaction as adults. Our relationship quality can be greatly impacted by our attachment style, which can also affect how we interact with others. We shall examine how attachment impacts interpersonal relationships in this section.

• • Understanding Attachment Styles

According to attachment theory, there are four primary types of attachment: dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, fearful-avoidant, and secure. Individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style are consumed by their fear of being abandoned, whereas those with a secure attachment style have a positive view of both themselves and other people. Fearful-avoidant people have conflicting needs for emotional closeness and rejection anxiety, whereas dismissive-avoidant people tend to avoid proximity and emotional intimacy.

• • Changing Attachment Patterns

Our attachment style is not fixed, even though it often develops during childhood. It is possible to alter our attachment style and enhance our relationships with the help of therapy and introspection. People who are dismissive and avoidant, for instance, can learn to open up emotionally, while anxious and preoccupied people can learn to control their fears of being abandoned. People who are fearful or avoidant can learn to trust people and get over their rejection anxiety.

• • The Importance of Communication

Whatever your attachment style, effective communication is essential to creating wholesome relationships. Individuals possessing secure attachment styles typically communicate candidly and openly, whereas anxious-preoccupied attachment styles may cause communication difficulties as a result of rejection anxiety. While fearful-avoidant people may find it difficult to voice their needs and desires, dismissive-avoidant people may completely avoid communication.

• • Impact and how Attachment injurious for mental health

Our attachment style can influence our interpersonal interactions in platonic, romantic, and professional relationships. Secure attachment styles are associated with healthy relationships, whereas anxious-preoccupied attachment styles are associated with neediness, jealousy, and rejection anxiety. Those who are dismissive-avoidant may find it difficult to connect with others and struggle with emotional intimacy. In contrast, those who are fearful-avoidant may find it difficult to trust people and may feel overpowered by emotional proximity.

• • Seeking Expert Advice

If you are having problems with your attachment style and its impact on your relationships, you may find it helpful to seek professional help. Identifying your attachment style and developing strategies to improve your relationships can be done with the help of a mental health professional. In addition, therapy can provide a safe place to explore your emotions and work through any past traumas affecting your attachment style.

The type of attachment we form and maintain can greatly influence the quality of our relationships. In order to improve our attachment style and build stronger relationships with others, we must reflect, communicate, and seek professional help.

When does emotional attachment is injurious for Mental Health?

The boundary between appropriate and inappropriate emotional attachments is very thin. We all want to emotionally connect and form bonds with other people. But when our desires cause us to forfeit our freedom, peace of mind, and self-worth, this bond may break down. The following are some red flags of an unhealthy emotional relationship:

Assessing Excessive Attachment On Mental Health

An unhealthy emotional attachment arises when you rely solely on a relationship to determine your value, worth, and lovability. Once such a relationship ends, you might experience increased sadness and self-criticism because you might have associated your self-worth with that person. That is bad because it means you are giving up control.

We all need some advice when going through ups and downs, and it’s okay to ask those we love and support for help.

Seeking for Constant Approval

You lack the self-confidence to take chances, so you put off making decisions until you have the opportunity to speak with the person you think is most qualified to make them for you. This dynamic could be a sign of an unhealthy attachment, but it could also be the precursor to codependency.

You stay in a toxic relation

If you are in a relationship that consistently makes you feel tense, anxious, depressed, or traumatized by past experiences, it may be a sign of over-attachment.

It’s critical to recognize that maintaining a relationship may be at the expense of your health. It’s unhealthy for you to stay in a relationship, even if it seems like it might be advantageous in the long run.

You Look for Companionship to Prevent Isolation

Unhealthy emotional attachment is indicated by the incessant pursuit of new relationships and the inability to be alone. You become co-dependent on other people to meet your needs when you deny yourself the opportunity to develop a relationship with yourself. As a result, you emotionally attach yourself to someone who might otherwise be a hindrance to your personal development. Furthermore, you have a higher propensity to accept circumstances that could be emotionally taxing, ineffective, and stagnant.

Key Takeaways

An emotional attachment can result in feelings of security, comfort, dependability, and optimism. The process of emotional attachment is a necessary part of the growth process.

However, it might become unhealthy if it is not handled properly. A lack of emotional connection can result in anxiety, distance, rigidity, and worries about your connection and love prospects. Seeking out professional help or reaching out to a trusted friend or family member can be beneficial.